The first thing that comes to mind in dealing with these contacts is the word “ouch”. Not in the way Mars/Pluto causes physical or psychic pain, but more pain of the deep shame and judgment variety. Our personal Mars placement may not seem like the most vital part of our chart, but it is as essential to our ego and emotional makeup as the Luminaries, and when thwarted, can cause deep damage in both of these areas. For anyone born with a healthy Mars to outer planet relationship this may not be apparent. But ask anyone with Mars natal aspects to Neptune, Pluto, Uranus or Saturn and they can tell you what it feels like to have the world seemingly against you. This feeling is of course not true – these are karmic placements that in their present incarnation can be both a blessing and an obstacle, but nevertheless call on the individual to accept the challenge and transcend it this time around. They aren’t “easy” natal aspects for most. They can be overwhelming and frustrating until deep understanding is obtained and the energy is transmuted into something good and worthwhile.
Heavy stuff. A Mars-Saturn natal contact in particular can make you feel like your whole life you’ve been trudging through the deepest mud – nothing comes easy, fast, with assistance, or without a lot of physical effort on your part. You question your abilities all the time, wonder if anything you do will ever meet the standards of others, and perhaps because of this, overly focus on perfection in your craft of choice as the only evidence of your worthiness. Hurry up and wait becomes your personal motto.
So then what if you weren’t born with this or any outer planet placement to your Mars? Well it’s not a perfect life, but it may be one without a lot of external pressure on your actions. You move a bit more freely than others and perhaps don’t have to question your actions as much. You think and you do and, especially with a positive Mars-Mercury contact, feel pretty satisfied that you won’t be impeded.
Cue your partner’s Saturn making its grand entrance to shut down the entire highway you were breezing along, pull you over and ask what the hell you think you’re doing going 60 mph when the speed limit is clearly marked as 55. This relationship will be your first foray into a world of encumbered movement, where once you were making strides and plans with deftness and seeming effortlessness, you are now going to be questioned and perhaps poo-pooed by your partner all along the way.
So what’s going on here? Our understanding of Saturn on a personal level tells us that this is where your partner holds all of their deep hurts, vulnerabilities, insecurities and not a little of their disappointment with life. This is where things are hard-won, requiring hard work, perseverance and ultimately, the greatest rewards if the karma is respected and addressed. For the un-evolved or those in the beginning stages of working through this limitation, coming across anyone who expresses themselves with fearlessness, ease, and a joie de vivre in the area you are most sensitive and fearful can induce all kinds of subconscious reflexive behaviors that you will then put upon your partner in a vain attempt to “teach” them and hurt them.
Our Mars is our action-planet, how we move in the world, how we fight, how we have sex, what kind of sex we like, and how we go about getting it. Your partner’s Saturn touching this will make you feel capricious, wandering, goal-less, childish, promiscuous, and without good taste in (inaccurate) comparison. It is a very harsh contact – the sextile and trine will have elements of this but Saturn in these cases will choose their battles more carefully, and stay quiet and reflective when they find themselves being critical of their partner. You may still feel silently judged with the softer contacts, but they are usually worked around with other compatibilities between the charts.
The hard contacts however (the conjunction, opposition, and square) can be intensely scrutinous and disapporoving, so much so that the relationship may not even get past the starting gate. There is just something about the Mars-person that the Saturn person doesn’t like – the way they move, the way they make love, the way they breathe. It really can be that petty and judgmental. And yet we often find these contacts with married couples! I wager this won’t be the case among Millennials who can always swipe left for another more suitable partner. But among our parents' generation? Definitely a trend. And also definitely a common signature in break-ups and divorces.
So there you have it – this may be the definitive “its not me, its you” aspect. Without a lot of healthy soul-searching and contentment with oneself, the Saturn person can create all kinds of havoc in their relationships based on their own insecurities. The Mars partner will learn a lot in this relationship, and likely the greatest lesson, when they finally break free from the oppression.